I wish

Wishing is different than praying. It’s also different from hoping.  Wishing is self fulfilling, personal, whimsical, and thoroughly practical. I was trying to think of a substitute word for wishing, but I just couldn’t connect with any of them. I wonder if it has anything to do with the way we are raised, and if people every where are “wish-full”.

I do know that most people pray at some times of their lives, even if they profess to not believe in God.         I also know that a vast majority of people are hopeful in their daily lives.

But wishing? Wishing is different.

I wish I could be 35 again. A do over.

I wish my parents were here. I wish I had valued them more.

I wish I had stayed at home with my children and known that their childhood was such a  short, precious event.

I wish I had been more honest.

I wish I had told my friends that I loved them.

It’s wishful thinking. At this stage of my life, I find myself wishing only on rare occasions.

I still wish I could lose some weight, regain some dexterity, read more, but I accept what is. There’s nothing left to wish for. I have everything I need. My children, my husband, my friends, my home, comfort.

I pray more. Much more. Not much for myself, but for others.

And I hope more. I hope for a better world, less pollution and crime, better government, and more health care.

And so it goes…I hope and pray more, I wish less and I am so thankful to have lived long enough in my world where it could all play out at a natural pace. If I had one wish left, it might be: I wish I could live forever.



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